Recently I was at the gym going through my super badass (Ok, totally average at best) lifting routine when I noticed a woman about my age walking on the track. As she passed by one of the windows between the weight room and the track, I happened to notice the HUGE (almost laughing) smile on her face. My initial reaction was “Wow! What the heck is she so happy about? Is she laughing at me? Did I do something stupid?”.
As I continued my routine I noticed her walk by the window a few more times, each time with that same big smile on her face. I also saw that she was apparently recovering from some type of physical injury. She had to hold onto the railing around the track to keep herself up, and her steps were becoming more and more labored. But that smile was still there!
At that point, I was feeling pretty crappy about my initial thoughts on the big smile. I mean, why am I concerned about why she’s so happy? The better question is: “Why the hell aren’t I that happy?”.
The curse of more
Interestingly enough, the first time this woman passed the window, I was cursing myself for not being able to do more weight on the machine I was working on. Instead of appreciating that I was able to do anything on the machine and being thankful for that fact, I was focused on wanting and wishing for more.
The ability to exercise and work out is a blessing that not everyone has. There are lots of people out there that are ecstatic to be struggling around a walking track. They are mindful enough to appreciate the fact that they are alive and have been given the opportunity to fight on for another day.
Why should it take more than that to be happy?
Wanting and longing for more is a natural human mindset. If we’re able to do 20 push-ups, we want to be able to do 25! Or if we’re able to run a mile in 10 minutes, we then strive for 9.
Or, financially, if we’ve amassed a net worth of 1 million, we then start shooting for 1.5 million, then 2, then 3 and on and on.
When is it ever enough?
However, when do we reach the point where enough is enough? If we’re always moving the finish line as we cross it, we never finish the race until the race is indeed done.
I think this applies to all aspects of our lives. Whether it’s money, physical fitness, career, or anything else.
As soon as we achieve one goal, we replace it with another, more lofty goal. How do we take the time to enjoy the here and now if our primary focus is on achieving a new goal?
Why can’t we be happy with the here and now?
Maybe we haven’t achieved all our life goals. Hell, maybe we haven’t achieved any of them.
So what? Does that mean you shouldn’t be happy? Shouldn’t appreciate being alive at this moment in time? Shouldn’t appreciate this breath of air?
Granted, longing for more motivates us to push ourselves to work toward achieving what we want – which is good.
If a goal aligns with our values, there can be happiness found in the struggle of attaining that goal. Without struggles, life becomes stagnant and boring.
The trick is to keep things in balance.
This is where I’ve run into trouble in the past. I tend to get too focused and forget the need to be mindful of the here and now. It’s hard to be appreciative of the blessings in your life when you’re focused on what you don’t have.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself that I already have everything I need to be happy. I have an awesome wife that I love dearly. Two awesome kids and a decent place to lay down at night. Achieving my goals won’t change any of that.
This moment in time is the only thing we are entitled to. This simple fact leads me to try to prioritize being more mindful of the present and here and now.
Methods I use to better appreciate the moment
- Appreciate the simple joys. I try to find simple pleasures in my surroundings, no matter how small they may be. Whether it’s enjoying the sunshine, a cloud, colors of a tree in fall or just the smell of Autumn, there are so many beautiful things around us to be appreciative of. Take the time to appreciate them, even if it’s only for a moment.
- Reflect on where I am. Whether it’s at the end of my day or at a particular moment or situation, it’s important to reflect on where I’m at. Reflect on experiences and the specific emotions related to them.
- Spend time with loved ones. Make time in my day to spend with loved ones. This time is, preferably, without electronic distractions. The time invested in loved ones will pay huge dividends on you and your loved ones well being.
- Appreciate the impermanence of all things. The future is guaranteed to no one, so take the time to enjoy the important things in life. Today could be the last time you get to hug your kids, have an intimate moment with your spouse, or spend time with your family or friends.
Make it count
Being in the moment and aware of the impermanence of all things are important to making your time count.
Most things in life are taken for granted until they are lost – whether it’s people you love, health, house, bike, car, or anything in our lives. We become so accustomed to those things being there that we take them for granted, possibly even neglect them.
When we’re acutely aware that they could all be gone in an instant, it shifts the mindset to one of appreciation rather than expectation.
A good example from my life occurred about ten years ago at Christmas time at my parents’ house. My grandfather came over to spend some time with us. I remember sitting in the living room watching him enjoying spending time and visiting with his great-grandchildren.
I remember being cognizant of the fact that we might not get another opportunity like this and being very appreciative for having the chance to spend that moment in time with him.
It was the last time I saw him alive. A few short months later he was tragically run over by a semi and killed. I never got the opportunity to say ‘goodbye’, but the warmth of the memory of the last time we were together made it a little easier to make peace with the way things turned out.
None of us know how many more trips around the sun or rotations of this great earth we’ll see. Keep working to better yourself and grow, but also appreciate each day for the gift that it is. None of us are entitled to anything more in life.
SC | MissFunctional Money says
Alan, this is such a good reminder – and one I specifically needed to hear today.
Our days are fleeting, and so we have a responsibility to ourselves and our families to spend that time mindfully with the people with love, doing the things that we love. Yet we freak out about the small stuff! Woof. Thanks for keeping things in perspective!
Alan says
Thanks for the comment MissFunctionalMoney. I think it’s important to always try to begin with the end in mind. How do we want to be remembered? What do we want our legacy to be? The answers to these questions can really put day to day issues into perspective and allow us to gauge their importance.
Mystery Money Man says
“Appreciate the simple joys. I try to find simple pleasures in my surroundings, no matter how small they may be. Whether it’s enjoying the sunshine, a cloud, colors of a tree in fall or just the smell of Autumn, there are so many beautiful things around us to be appreciative of.”
This is what I’ve been striving to do over the past few years..The key for me has been simplifying, and shifting my focus away from material possessions. As adults, we lose that sense of wonder we had as children, which is kind of sad. That said, I think it’s something we can reclaim in our own way, to a certain degree.
Alan says
Thanks for the comment Mystery Money Man! I agree that as adults we tend to lose our sense of wonder. It’s something that I’ve been trying be aware of and just take a few moments to appreciate these small things that bring so much beauty to our lives. Especially as I’m walking into my office building for work! Probably a healthy bit of procrastination mixed in there as well!